I like grocery shopping. I know it’s weird but, since I like to cook, wandering the aisles puts me in a creative mood. Start with produce….what looks good? What can I make from it? What goes with? Mind you, I’m no foodie…no gourmet. I just like to cook and I cook from scratch because I fear the stuff on labels I can’t pronounce. I read labels because I’m afraid NOT to. Think I’m exaggerating? Humor me and compare the labels on sour cream….any brand…whatever you have in the frig. Then read the Daisy Sour Cream label. Yeah I know, the one with the llame commercial “ . a dollop of Daisy….” Work with me here. I’ll save you the trouble. There’s ONE ingredient – grade A cultured cream…that’s it … compared to a LIST of unpronounceable gelatins and preservatives in the others. Scary no?! Well it is to me.
Anyway, I have peeves…things that flat PISS ME OFF and threaten to ruin my shopping experience: First, the G-damn intercom system in Winco and the checkers’ insistence on hitting that additional (unnecessary) SQUAWK button when they page. I shop with my iPod, happy music in my ears to cover most of it up and to keep from getting grumpy but still it leaks through. Second, people who change their flipping mind and set their abandoned item on a random shelf, especially when it’s a perishable. What kind of brain dead idiot doesn’t think that costs us all when they say…”Oh I don’t want this cheese…I’ll just leave it here with ….the Cheerios”. ? Third, people who are unwilling to put shopping carts away in the corrals in the parking lot. They have just done a half-marathon, wandering around a freakin’acre of food and assorted obstacles and they can’t manage a FEW MORE FEET to put the cart away to keep it from planting itself in the side of a car! Don’t get me started on the unsupervised little urchins allowed to put their fingers in the bulk bins and taste the generic jello or drink mix or whatever. I wouldn’t buy that stuff but, if I were in charge of the bulk bins, I’d put the pinto beans down low and the pretty candies and fruity flavored ANYTHING up too high for the oompaloompahs to reach. Where is the couth and decorum? Where is Miss Manners?
OK … better now. Ommmmmmmmmmmmm…
