Showing posts with label too many cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label too many cats. Show all posts

Monday, May 5, 2008

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love

Have you ever had house guests that stayed a weeeee bit too long? Nothing horrible. Nothing tragic. You just wish you could walk through your own house in your underwear and maybe... fart.. (not that I would) or drink out of the milk jug (ditto) ... and maybe crank up the stereo? Creative juices are waning but I need to post so I find inspiration in Sid....BIG Sid.

This is the story of Sid and how I stopped by K-Mart to pick up some oil for Mark and came home with a kitten. He was this adorable little tabby. And it's not like I needed a cat. We had (at least) four. According to the people who had him in a box, he was the last one. I presumed they had a dozen in the car that they brought out, one at a time, to con people into taking "the last one". Since then, we have decided that he may have been the last one because he ATE the rest of the litter. You see, Sid has grown...and like Alice in Wonderland....continued growing and growing and growing.

When naming him, we went through dead rocker names. Jerry. Jim. We settled on Elvis. He was Elvis for about a week but... he was so tiny we changed it to Sid. Little did we know that our little junkie would grow to be a "peanut butter and bananas" Elvis. He weighed 22 pounds at his last visit to the vet and I'm sure he's packed on a kilo or two since. He's a big, cuddly teddy bear. I took this picture when he was rendering in front of the furnace. He struggles to clean his chubby nether-regions. Picking him up puts a strain on my back. Our kitten that doesn't like anyone, LOVES his funny Uncle Sid. Ya gotta love that fat cat!

Friday, January 11, 2008

HOW DO YOU FAIL A SURVEY?!

I’m fixing dinner…the phone rings. A 3-minute survey. “I’m not selling anything". Ever available to someone asking my opinion, I tell him I’m holding him to his three minutes – “go”. He was caught off-guard but starts through the list of disqualifiers:

Survey Guy: Do you or any member of your family work for a pet-food manufacturer?

ME: “No”.

SG: “Ad agency?”

ME: “No”.

SG: “Pet store?”

ME: “No”.

Blah blah blah down the list. You can generally tell the topic of the survey based on what will disqualify you so I’m figuring this will have to do with pet food or pet products of some sort. I’m in like Flint. With cats, a dog, chickens and an aquarium, we’re on the frequent buyer program at virtually ALL the pet and feed stores….

SG: “Do you have any cats?

ME: “Yes”

SG: “How many?”

ME: “Five” (oh they’ll like me for THIS survey…)

SG: Silence…..then “Five?”

ME: “Yep, five”

SG: He chuckles, “I guess that’s too many”

Me: “No kidding”.

SG: No really, this is where I say “thank you very much, that’s all the questions I have”.

ME: “Really, how many do they figure is OK?”

SG: Well, I think the last one I did that had four was OK….

ME: Well, one of mine isn’t doing real well, you might call me back in six months or so….

SG: “Thank you for participating.” click

Damn honey, we have too many cats…

Mark: Yeah? No kidding!

Seriously, do they figure anyone with five cats is too crazy to have a valuable opinion but four is somehow acceptable!?