That's Why I'm Never Going Back to My Old School

Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To My Old School ~ Steely Dan

Probably one f the hardest lessons to share with your teenage kids is that, in the grand scheme of things, high school doesn't matter. I don't mean the education or the grades - obviously that's important. There will be people you will meet and hold dear to you through time but the social hierarchy that is "HIGH SCHOOL" (all caps, chiller font with foreboding strings attached) will become such a small part of your life that you'll wonder why you let them cause you such grief. My apologies to those of you who may have been cheerleaders or football players or homecoming queens who still feel those are the best years of your life. For some of us, dare I say MOST of us, they were not so.

At the time you live those years, you feel as they represent your life. Who you are and all you ever will be. Your life is dictated by those narrow parameters set years ago. You are categorized. The brains. The stoners. The geeks. The jocks....the rest of us. You vacillate between wanting to blend in and striving to be noticed but by the right people. If you were raised with rules and boundaries, you push against those boundaries, trying desperately to make a name for yourself among the crowds that are held in high esteem. What you don't realize is that those people will come out of high school and will be the little fish in the big pond of the real world.

When one's level of popularity is based on looks or athletic prowess, you never really learn to treat people well because you don't have to. Somehow, people hang around you even when you treat them like crap because, let's face it, they're afraid NOT to be your friend. High school is a small village where you really can't get away from the people that you don't like or that taunt and bully you. You may have to ride the bus with them or even live near them. You feel like your whole life will involve these people and don't realize that you can leave the village. Sure, some will become business people with some level of success based on their high school stature (if you're a fan of One Tree Hill, I'm talking Dan Scott, here), but in the end, most will spend their lives trying to be what they were in high school. You know what? There is just no real world equivalent of the homecoming queen and in the real world, if you're not a nice person people don't want to be around you.

As I've watched a number of the "It Gets Better" videos that are part of The Trevor Project, aimed at the kids who are being bullied because of their real or perceived sexual orientation, I've been reminded how it felt to be pushed around and scared at school. I won't give value to the the so-called friends that put me through those brief periods of fear or the ones that disappeared from my side when it was happening but I can only imagine how a teen going through years of this treatment would think that this represents what will be their life. How awful to think that suicide is the only way away from the pain. Guess what kids .... high school is NOTHING! I can't speak for coming out; I can only speak for coming into your own. - becoming who you are and being proud of who you are. Screw the people who don't like you or don't like who you are. You CAN get away from those people and find people who will take you for who you are.

And as a final note, I would like to apologize to Matthew Phillips. At Del Mar Middle School in Santa Cruz, Matt was that kid with goofy glasses, acne and high water pants. He was teased and I know I took part in laughing at him at least once. I remember it made me feel powerful to be on the other side of the taunts for a change. And it made me feel awful. I don't think I did it twice but still remember that one time. I am not proud that I didn't have the balls to stop other people. I am sorry Matt. I hope you came into your own, got tough, got rich and kicked a little bully ass.

AND IT BREAKS MY HEART

This video was put together by the Courage Campaign. I think the pictures speak for themselves....but the lyrics hit home. I dare you not to cry a bit, at the thought that in this country that finally managed to elect a Black American to the White House still doesn't see the inequality that still exists. We should all be free to marry the one we love. That's right - just one. Same sex couples just want ONE spouse ... that is MONOGAMY.

Equality is a human right. It's a Constitutional right. Listen to the words you speak when you place your hand over your heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah, that's it. Right at the end.... "with liberty and JUSTICE FOR ALL". Proposition 8 was wrong. It IS wrong. It must be repealed.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

If you are voting Yes on Proposition 8, this blog is not for you. The version of Christianity to which you subscribe is different from mine. Your church that "hates the sin, not the sinner" and promotes marriage for some but not for others, is not one I can understand. At this point, you can move along.

For those of you who are uneasy...unsure... not comfortable with Proposition 8, because deep down, you don't feel right about placing a barrier placed between certain people, I hope you will consider a NO vote. I hope you will recognize the inequality. I hope you will see the parallels between these barriers and the ones that forced black people to sit in the back of the bus and those that prevented women from voting.

You don't need to approve. You don't have to be comfortable or tolerant. You don't have to because it does not involve you. It does not affect you. How can it be wrong to marry the person you love and raise a family in love? Really...how can it be a bad thing? How can we prevent it?

P.S. Thanks to Joe over at Eureka POZ for pointing out the WRITE TO MARRY opportunity. There are a bunch of great blog posts listed if you click on the logo.