'cause You're So Smooth

Proud owner of her driver’s permit, Gloria has been driving us to CR every morning. So today we’re southbound on 101 in the fast lane past Herrick only until everyone in the slow lane decides whether or not to get a “Joe to Go” in Humboldt Hill. Bright red Chrysler mini-van swerving into the bike lane…and back….and forth….WTF? It’s kinda early for a DUI. As we pass, I screw on my best scowl, preparing to find someone on a cell or fumbling with a smoldering spliff….Nope, woman rubbing lotion into her hands….both hands OFF the wheel at 60 mph getting her mitts silky smooth. Keeee RYST woman! At least when she goes off road and is burned to a crisp she’ll have soft fingerprints to identify her body.