Friday, March 7, 2008

MAMA'S GOT A SQUEEZE BOX ....

...she wears on her chest

OK, guys, here's a question for you and your jewels...your cojones...THE BOYS! If this here machine was presented to you as the only TRUE way to test for cancer of your gonads.... you'd find another way, wouldn't you? Even the technician said she wouldn't want to be involved in the scan because "the whining would be too loud". I'd put money down that a think tank would be developed with men from all walks of life that would indeed find a method other than standing with your stones in the equivalent of an enormous vice, even if it meant a woman helped you place them there.

Can you tell I went for my SQUEEZIN' today? This is no place for sissies. You get little target stickers to put on the important prominent parts and more to put on moles and freckles that might appear in the image. There are jokes that compare the mammogram to closing your breast in the refrigerator door and holding it for five seconds....yep, that's about right. We girls are TOUGH and don't you forget it!

9 comments:

Sandi said...

Oh my, something ELSE to look forward to. And I thought natural childbirth was the only enjoyment a woman could get ;o). I agree with you on the man test, however, you know the rate of testicular cancer would be sky high, because no guy would get tested. Maybe only the real men and then natural selection would take over!

The Boy Most Likely to ... said...

Alright, let me be the first guy to speak to this here. Agreed, for years, the guys only had to worry about having their huevos juggled when looking for cancer in the testicles. What women have gone through for breast cancer screening stands alone.

Enter the Prostate Exam. I am not here to say that the Prostate exam is comparable to the Mammogram, because we just do not know. However, older guys (I am twenty years away from my first test), especially my older fiends who have had the exam now have some appreciation for what the women go through. The same fear of the discomfort arises for men because the intrusive nature of the exam.

Can't really compare the two exams, but no guy looks forward to a Prostate exam, no matter if it is a old man doctor, or a pretty lady doctor doing the deed.

-boy

Kym said...

Alright Prostate exams are nasty.
Boy's got a point.

But remember this pain happens while they throw enough radiation at you that they drape every available surface of your body with a lead apron. And the technician hides outside the room for fear of it.

Pain might be equal. Yuck factor maybe the prostate exam has it. But in pure danger, the women get zapped. . . again;>

Beachcomber said...

Boy, my intention was not an "us vs them" thing but more a recognition that, although many of us girls blubber uncontrollably at times as Kym alluded to in a recent blog, we have a tough side which I suspect is why we were chosen to bear babies. We may yell during childbirth and even invent brand new curse words, yet many of us come back to bestow several more progeny on the unsuspecting world. We are gluttons, aren't we?

While I recognize the pride you feel in surviving a digital exam, I present, for your consideration, THE SPECULUM , to which we are subjected annually. Just sayin'...

The Boy Most Likely to ... said...

Beach, I am sorry you missed my point.

All I am saying is that the Prostate exam is something that the men have out there now, and now men have a "man" exam that they can get all squeamish about.

I am not trying to compare anything to the exams women must endure. Honestly, men still have it easy, and they should appreciate what a woman has to endure. Perhaps the Prostate exam will help them start to.

-boy

Monica... Media Professional said...

Nice, Mom... nice...

Especially the speculum link on Wiki. Classic.

I don't at all look forward to going through boob squeezes of the flattening kind, some day.

Luckily, I still need to make it through childbirth, before I get that far.

EkoVox said...

You know what's great about us menfolk... We can write our name in the snow. So there!

I'll tell you a greater discomfort for men than mammi-squeezin'...and that's spending more than five minutes in a fabric shop. And you womenfolk find some sheer delight in subjecting the menfolk to it to the nth degree.

Oh, did I mention the snow dealie....yeah, that's right! High-Five boys! I put them in their place, didn't I?

Beachcomber said...

Eko, did you know women can write their names in the snow as well, just in a smaller font. We just don't like to show off and it's, well, it's COLD.

The Boy Most Likely to ... said...

Smaller Font!

Nice come back, Beach!

-boy