Friday, January 11, 2008

HOW DO YOU FAIL A SURVEY?!

I’m fixing dinner…the phone rings. A 3-minute survey. “I’m not selling anything". Ever available to someone asking my opinion, I tell him I’m holding him to his three minutes – “go”. He was caught off-guard but starts through the list of disqualifiers:

Survey Guy: Do you or any member of your family work for a pet-food manufacturer?

ME: “No”.

SG: “Ad agency?”

ME: “No”.

SG: “Pet store?”

ME: “No”.

Blah blah blah down the list. You can generally tell the topic of the survey based on what will disqualify you so I’m figuring this will have to do with pet food or pet products of some sort. I’m in like Flint. With cats, a dog, chickens and an aquarium, we’re on the frequent buyer program at virtually ALL the pet and feed stores….

SG: “Do you have any cats?

ME: “Yes”

SG: “How many?”

ME: “Five” (oh they’ll like me for THIS survey…)

SG: Silence…..then “Five?”

ME: “Yep, five”

SG: He chuckles, “I guess that’s too many”

Me: “No kidding”.

SG: No really, this is where I say “thank you very much, that’s all the questions I have”.

ME: “Really, how many do they figure is OK?”

SG: Well, I think the last one I did that had four was OK….

ME: Well, one of mine isn’t doing real well, you might call me back in six months or so….

SG: “Thank you for participating.” click

Damn honey, we have too many cats…

Mark: Yeah? No kidding!

Seriously, do they figure anyone with five cats is too crazy to have a valuable opinion but four is somehow acceptable!?

3 comments:

Kym said...

Hey, Your blog's letting me post!!! Yay!

I think you actually passed. You have proved you aren't normal (and nobody really is) and saved yourself two minutes of telemarketer torture.

Monica... Media Professional said...

hahahahaha- I suppose it wouldn't have helped to not count my kitty, would it? I mean, seeing as you feed her and all.

Wow... I wonder what that survey was about. I suppose if I lived in the house, you could have probably gotten the hang-up much earlier in the conversation... my job is like working for an ad agency. You should be proud you got as far as you did. :-)

EkoVox said...

Ahem, we must have been really crazy out in the hills. At one time we had 24 cats. Of course, they come and go and critters and chip trucks get them. My mom has probably 7 or 8 right now. Hillbilly cats.